


Chronicles of SMH Group Chat

by B_Frizzy



Series: SMH Group Chats, etc [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Bad Communication, Cheating, Emotionally abusive ex, Fluff and Angst, Forced Outing, Mentions of alcohol, SMH group chat, Unintentional Outing, background zimbits, bitty and nursey are friends, break-up, everyone is queer because samwell, holster is kind of a shitty friend, idk how that happened, talking about sex, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:40:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10129286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/B_Frizzy/pseuds/B_Frizzy
Summary: In which Nursey texts SMH group chat accidentally, and chaos breaks free--"WP: that was decidedly unchill""BK: that's... seriously fucked up. ""DN: it's alright bitsEB: not reallyDN: no, not really"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter one will serve as a stand-alone.  
> Chapter two will be conversations that happened over the course of chapter 1.  
> Enjoy!

AB: idk man, I just don't think it's that great

EB: you bite your tongue, mister

JZ: haha, yeah

DN: well I guess if that's what you think, you can fuck off

AB: bro, what the hell

EB: Derek Malik Nurse!

WP: that was decidedly unchill

DN: sorry wrong chat

CC: does this have to do with why you missed world wars earlier???

EB: ?! :(

AB: Nursey wth dude. You know the history dept hates us now that jack's gone. You can't be skipping classes like that

DN: sorry guys won't happen again

JZ: wait why does the history department hate you ?

JO: Shhhh, that's besides the point. Nursey, you can't accidentally tell us to fuck off and not expect us to pry

DN: it's nothing

EB: everything okay, Nursey? (I'll text you about it, sweetheart)

AB: FINE $$$$$

DN: I'm chill, np

WP: answer your phone, man. You can't pretend you're not there when you're literally texting on group chat at the same time

CC: I mean, he CAN. Because he is doing that right now, and it's totally his right to do that

CC: but you shouldn't, Nursey!!!

CC: we just want to make sure everything is okay!!! that's all!

LD: you know they won't leave you alone until you give us something

EB: I reserve the right to withhold any and all grumpy-time pies until you tell us why you're grumpy.

JO: pulling out the big guns, eh bits?

CC: omg nursey!!! you know he's serious!! remember when he didn't let me have pie for two whole days because I didn't want to talk about me and farmer fighting? It was horrible! Any time I would try to take a bite off of someone's plate, he'd hit me with a wooden spoon!

DN: kinky

AB: nursey

AB: nursey

AB: nursey

AB: nursey

DN: STOP, shit. Is there no such thing as privacy anymore

DN: I was texting an ex, okay?

CC: aww, nursey! :'c

EB: but hold on, do you mean who I think you do?? when did y'all break up?

CC: you were so cute together, what happened????

AB: HOLD THE MOTHERFUCKING PHONE

JO: how come bitty and chowder knew you were seeing someone but we didn't?

AB:HOW FAR DOES THIS GO

AB: DID YOU KNOW, DEX?

AB: WHAT HAPPENED TO D-MEN STICKING TOGETHER

AB: LARDO??

AB: JACK??

AB: SHITTY WHERE ARE YOU ARE YOU OUTRAGED TOO? THIS IS YOUR BOY DO SOMETHING

JZ: I did

WP: no

EB: I take back what I said about pie. You get all the pie you want.

DN: thanks, bits, but I'm chill

JO: “you can fuck off” isn't usually indicative of “chill”

AB: you are all missing the point by a mile. Who were you going out with and why didn't we know??

WP: I kind of want to know that myself

JZ: maybe give him some room to breath, eh

CC: !!! if he feels like telling us he will!

LD: chill for a bit, holster. We're gonna smoke it out, i'll give everyone a status report later

****

DN: this is lardo, I took nursey's phone. Bitty, chowder, Jack. I don't care which one of you it is, but we need to know who he was dating

JZ: no

CC: !!!!

EB: Larissa Duan. You know for a fact that boy has a right to his privacy. If he won't tell you, we won't tell you.

DN: I could use some reinforcements here, captains

AB: I just wanted deets, lardo. You sound kinda like you want us to go beat someone up and idk if i'm down for that

JO: definitely not down for that

WP: why, what's up lardo?

DN: look, there is some seriously not good shit here. At the very least we need to know who it is so we can make sure they don't contact nursey again

BK: I just got caught up. Kinda hurting that nursey didn't fucking tell me, no lie. But lardo, babe, you gotta let the man handle his own dick

AB: $$$

DN: hm, funny you phrase it that way

DN: “fine, be that way, idgaf. The only thing you're good for anyway is your dick”

BK: uh

DN: “hell, even that's not that good. I've had better THIS WEEK”

DN: “we were exclusive the same way you're 'chill' AKA I've fucked half of the athletes on campus”

DN: “i can tell you where you rank if you want. Hint: not even the best on the hockey team”

DN: “may as well stay with me. You'll get laid on the regular and you're too fucked up for a real relationship anyway”

JO: woah

BK: that's... seriously fucked up. 

CC: maybe we should tell them?? For Nursey??

JZ: chowder, no. Nursey didn't make it public knowledge for a reason. We don't get to make decisions for him because we don't like his

EB: you tell them, sweetheart

AB: $$$$

EB: yeah, yeah, mr birkholtz, i'll put my money in the sin bin when I get out of class

JZ: what happened to not texting in class, eh ?

EB: (')> (')> (')> whenever you're done, mister, there is a conversation happening

DN: I have my phone again. This is the last call for comments. After this point, the conversation is officially over and I don't want to hear about it again

BK: text me, bruh

AB: we still have that list of DerekNurse-compatible hook ups, if you're so inclined any time in the near future

EB: you, me, annie's. Tomorrow after practice

CC: wait, does this mean Nursey's person cheated on him with one of us??? O.O

DN: in order.. already done, no thanks, sure, and more than one

JO: no shit, more than one?

DN: it's in the past, it's chill. Not like it was on purpose

DN: for you guys

AB: are you gonna tell us who???

DN: nah

DN: and thus ends the questioning nursey about his life portion of the day

DN: thanks for playing.

DN: now I believe we were talking about Holster's stupidly wrong opinion about mint and chocolate together 

****

DN: sorry again I had to miss annie's, bits. Polisci prof assigned a group project due next class so I had to meet with my group to figure out a game plan

EB: >:( that's the worst!!!

DN: nah, the worst would have been if I had to be in a group with you know who

EB: oh lord, that's the class y'all have together?

DN: yeah. Chowder very enthusiastically volunteered to work with him. Practically jumped across the whole room to intervene, you know how quick he can be when he wants

EB: that sweet boy. I hope he gives him hell

DN: lol you know he will, in his special chowder way

EB: so how are you doing?

EB: how are you ACTUALLY doing?

EB: none of that chill bull

DN: you know how holster is constantly on edge around Ransom when he's in coral reef mode? Like he's two seconds away from a total nuclear meltdown? 

DN: that's how ransom is with me rn. Dude seriously doesn't know how to handle other neurodivergent ppl

DN: dex is ignoring me and chowder keeps hugging me

DN: holster volunteered to be a rebound fuck??? I thought him and Ransom were.... whatever?

EB: oh lord who knows with those two

EB: …......did you take him up on it?

DN: BITTY!

EB: what, i'm just asking *eggplant emoji*

DN: I'll tell jack on you

EB: like he doesn't already know I'm a thirsty bitch, honestly

EB: really though, how are you feeling about everything

DN: I mean, not great. Obv. The fucking asshole knew exactly what buttons to push, ya know

DN: and suddenly I've had my dick in the same place as every athlete on campus, so

DN: kind of my own fault for sticking with him when I knew he was a douchefuck tho

EB: oh honey

DN: it's alright bits

EB: not really

DN: no, not really

****

BK: FUCK YEAH YOU BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS

BK: LOOK AT THAT GORGEOUS GOAL, HELL YES BITTY

JZ: that's how you do it, boys

BK: LOOK AT THAT oh my god

BK: can you believe you get to fuck that talented motherfucker, because I can't, jack

JZ: how can I respond without being fined or punished by bits ?

LD: any chance either of you two can make it for the follow-up kegster ransom and holster will without a doubt be throwing this weekend?

JZ: I'll be on the road

BK: you know i'll fucking try

BK: while they're playing and you're here, how's Nursey?

LD: you know how he is. All “chill” and “nbd”. He shuts down any conversation quick

LD: he's basically the physical embodiment of ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 

BK: he's playing like a fucking beast, though

BK: WHENEVER YOU READ THIS NURSEY, I LOVE YOU, YOU FUCKING GORGEOUS MOTHERFUCKER

LD: And that's a hatty for bits!!

JZ: FUCK YEAH

BK: ERIC RICHARD BITTLE OH MY FUCKING GOD

****

BK: I hope you beautiful motherfuckers enjoyed that kegster yesterday. You fucking deserved it, I would offer to blow you for your performance, bitty, if your dick wasn't already claimed

BK: sorry I couldn't make it, you know I fucking wanted to

EB: my dick is quite happy, thank you

BK: I'll fucking bet it is

JZ: no comment

AB: speaking of dicks and the kegster

DN: holster

AB: what nursey? i'm just keeping everyone updated

JO: bro, come on

DN: don't be a fucking dick, man

AB: I don't know, why don't we let everyone else weigh in, see what they think

AB: SO, there I was, enjoying the kegster as I am known to do, when I decided I wanted to get too drunk to take my contacts out before I went to sleep. Up I went to the attic to take them out, and what did I find??

AB: Nursey. In my bed.

BK: Dude, party foul. No fucking in teammates beds

JO: Adam, stop it

AB: I didn't mind, I mean, who was I to complain when I had been pushing him to hook up all night. I let them do their thing, nbd. Figured I'd chirp him for today

AB: and then, later in the night, who do I see being kicked out of the Haus but the guy Nursey was hooking up with. Why was it that you kicked him out, Chowder?

AB: OH YEAH, apparently that was the same ex who was so fucking horrible to him JUST LAST WEEK

BK: dude

LD: out of line, holster.

EB: holster >:(

AB: wait wtf. How am I the one who's getting bitched at here. Nursey went back to that asshole ???

DN: and we already established it's none of your fucking business

AB: You know, I don't think that's what we did, actually

WP: Holster, fucking lay off. Nursey was downright polite last time we decided to get in his business.He answered questions, for fucks sake, which is more than we deserved. Did he fuck up by screwing around in the attic? Sure. But make him wash the bedding or something. You don't get to give him shit for who he chooses to fuck around with

WP: and you definitely don't get to air his business to everyone

DN: thanks, dex

WP: d-men gotta stand up for d-men

WP: right, holster?

****

EB: now, this isn't me judging you, but what on earth are you doing having sex with him again??

DN: I didn't mean to

DN: it just happened

EB: derek nurse, don't you dare say you accidentally had sex

DN: …..i accidentally had sex

EB: D: D: D:

DN: I know! I know

DN: we went up to the attic because he wanted to talk and I wanted to yell at him for being such a fucking dick

DN: it wasn't even like he apologized or said we could work things out or all that romcom bs

DN: idk, i'm like pavlov's dog... the minute we're alone together I immediately get hard

EB: oh lord. Do we have to extend nurseypatrol to include monitoring your hook ups, too??

DN: I mean, you're joking, but...

EB: NURSEY!

EB: tell me it won't happen again, and that it was just one last hurrah

DN: it won't happen again

DN: it was just... a last hurrah

EB: ….........

EB: YOU DIDN'T

EB: when did y'all even have the time since last night?!

DN: after chowder kicked him out, I walked him to his dorm, to apologize or some shit, idk. But then we got there, and it's not like we finished before, since holster interrupted, sooo

DN: it was just a blow job?

EB: I am going to smack you so hard next time I see you

EB: “it was just a blow job”

EB: >:[

DN: but that was really the last time, so it's chill

EB: UGH FINE

EB: but I will be keeping a rolled up magazine around the Haus, Mr Pavlov's dog

EB: anyway, how are you feeling about the rest of it... holster, and all?

DN: pretty super

DN: so great

DN: 10/10 great way to come out

EB: you weren't out to everyone?

DN: nope

EB: omg derek

DN: it's fine, it's whatever

DN: I mean, everyone probably knew already. It wasn't really a secret. Just would have been nice to be on my own terms, you know

EB: i'm so so sorry, nursey

EB: want me to beat him up for you?

DN: ...can I say yes just because I want to watch

EB: WHATEVER, I wouldn't even break a sweat. Holster's terrified of me :)

DN: who isn't? Next to lardo, you're the scariest mf-er on the team

EB: aww, thank you!

****

DN: thanks for sticking up for me, man

DN: idk, it feels like you've been pissed at me this week, so I really appreciate it

WP: you're my partner, i'll always be there when you need it

DN: thanks for that

WP: look, I just don't get why you didn't feel like you couldn't tell me

WP: not just that you were seeing someone, but that you're not straight or that your boyfriend was treating you like shit or any of it

DN: idk man

DN: we've been good this semester, not fighting and shit, and I wasn't sure where you stood with queer issues

DN: historically, you haven't been the best ally with bitty and jack, Mr Samwell Republicans

WP: I'm not....

WP: yeah, okay.

WP: sorry that's how you felt, but for the record, I'm here for whatever you need

DN: thanks

DN: again

WP: i'm sorry holster outed you.

DN: it's chill, it had to happen eventually, right

DN: bitty already threatened to beat him up for me, so, if I'm feeling any sort of way about it, I have backup

WP: I'd say I'd help out, but you don't need more than bits

WP: he could probably kick all of our asses

DN: it's that kill them with kindness southern thing he has going on

****

JO: nursey, my dude, I hate to bring this up again, but

JO: any chances of telling us who your old guy is?

JO: because, like, there's this guy I wanted to hook up with again, but I don't want to be fucking around with him if it was your guy

DN: ransom.

DN: I honestly could not care less

DN: fuck whoever you're gonna fuck. Use protection

EB: oh honey

CC: nursey!!

JO: alright, you may not care, but I do

AB: not everyone fucks whoever they want

AB: some people have standards

WP: uncalled for commentary there, Holster

JO: but kinda true?

LD: jesus christ, how is this still a topic of conversation

JZ: honestly

AB: it's still a topic of conversation because some of us don't appreciate secrets being kept from teammates

JO: just forget I asked, I don't want to start anything

DN: no, whatever, let's just finish it

DN: it's Jared. Yes you hooked up with him before. I'm not going to tell you the other person because idk if he's out yet. Idc if you do again. While we're at it, he also fucked the quarterback of the football team, the powerforward of the basketball team, all of the goalkeepers in club soccer, and half the swim team. 

DN: so if you didn't use protection the first time, get tested. Chowder, I'd have farmer relay that message to the volleyball team, too, because he's just as fond of female athletes

DN: and just for the record, I wasn't out to everyone, Holster, before you so thoughtfully decided to make that public knowledge. 

DN: I don't want an apology from you, or Ransom, or anyone. I just want this over with. So, once again, and really for the last time, are there any questions that anyone has. At all.

CC: are you okay?

DN: i'm perfect, chowder.

DN: nothing else? Cool. FYI, i'm going to be late to practice, because I have an appointment at the student health center. Since everyone is so into know what my dick does, yes, it's to get an STI test.

JZ: ransom and holster, call me.

****

WP: hey, man, do you think you have a few minutes to talk?

BK: william poindexter, for you I have several minutes to spare

WP: okay, so, nursey said something the other day that really bothered me

BK: bruh, if this is what I think it's about, I will flip shit on you

WP: no, it's not

WP: well, it is, but not how you're thinking

WP: nursey told me that i'm not a good ally, to bitty and jack and I guess him... I just want to know how to be better

BK: that is the most touching shit I have seen all week, holy shit

BK: okay, so, normally I'd say you should ask them what they need from you, but I get that you want help from someone outside the situation

BK: that's the biggest thing: listening. If they tell you something is wrong, don't fight against it. Don't try to defend yourself, just accept that you're in the wrong and work to get better

BK: be aware of how you talk and how the people around you talk. Don't let someone in class get away with saying fag just because your queer friends aren't around. You don't get to choose when to be an ally, you have to be there all the time

WP: this is maybe a dumb question, but isn't the word 'queer' bad?

BK: not a stupid question at all, my young padawan

BK: the LGBT+ community is so much bigger than just L, G, B, and T. the term queer refers to the community as a whole.

BK: for example, I'm asexual and polyamorous. I fall under the “queer” umbrella even though my designations are left out of “LGBT”. It's just a more inclusive term

WP: Bitty said he came out first to you.. How can I help people who aren't out of the closet yet?

BK: you've got some good questions, my dude

BK: just make sure you're a safe space. Let people around you know that you don't play with any homophobic bullshit. 

WP: thanks, man

BK: not even a problem! I'm always here if you need me, man

****

WP: I think I owe you an apology, man

DN: wait, what was that

DN: did the clouds part?

DN: am I hearing actual angels sing?

DN: what are these beautiful words I'm seeing

WP: dude, I'm trying to be serious here

WP: you're right that I wasn't there for Bitty and Jack and you.. I didn't have any right to get pissythat you didn't feel comfortable coming out to me

DN: You don't have to apologize for that

WP: no, I do

WP: I talked to shitty about how I can be better. I guess I never knew how to be an ally because....

WP: because i'm not an ally. I'm gay. And I spent a lot of years trying to distance myself from that and I never considered what I had to do to support the people around me who were out or struggling on their own

WP: um...

WP: I'm kind of freaking out here, just a little, if you wouldn't mind responding?

WP: just... somehow? Please

DN: sorry

DN: sorry, i'm processing

DN: oh god, was that the first time you ever came out? Because I just fucked it up so royally if so

WP: no, yeah, it was

WP: is

DN: fuck man, I'm sorry, Dex

DN: shit, how does shitty say it? Thanks for trusting me with this moment

WP: does he seriously say that shit

DN: every time. Apparently everyone comes out to him first, like he's the gay whipserer or some shit. I started the trend at Andover and it just carried over to samwell

WP: well, i'll have to let him know that I broke his streak

DN: really, though, poindexter. Thanks for trusting me

****

WP: got time for some more advice?

BK: DEX MY MAN, ALWAYS

BK: mostly because it is always a good distraction from law school BULLSHIT

WP: okay, so hypothetically, you just came out to a guy and you really want to, I don't know, cuddle or some shit since you're not into sex. How do you make that happen

WP: oh, also, I'm gay and apparently broke some sort of streak you have going of guys coming out to you

BK: WOAH OKAY

BK: I'm gonna assume when you say 'cuddle' in this hypothetical situation you actually mean 'hop on that dick and ride it to orgasm-land', amiright

BK: in which case, i'd have a conversation, like an adult?

BK: also, kudos for coming out, man! I'm proud of you

WP: have a conversation? That's your advice?

BK: YUP. 

****

DN: bitty, my man, my favorite southern belle. I need help

EB: I'm in astronomy rn

EB: so of course i'll help, what's up :D

DN: alright, so how do I say to a guy “i respect you for coming out, I appreciate that it's all new to you, and I want to swallow your cock, like, yesterday”

EB: oh sweet child

EB: not like that

DN: how about “i'm glad you're gay because i'm so gay for you”

EB: ...really

DN: U + M + *eggplant emoji* ??

EB: no

DN: i'm out of ideas then

EB: do you just want to hook up, or do you want more than that

DN: like. Anything he's comfortable with.

EB: aww, you have a crush

DN: the size of jack's ass. This is a problem, bittle, help

EB: sweetheart, you just gotta talk to the boy. And if he doesn't like you, or if he's not ready for anything, you respect that

DN: I don't want sage advice bitty, I want the bitty who asked for deets when holster propositiond me

EB: sorry, you get who you get

EB: ...but I still want deets, if there are deets to give

****

JO: DEREK MALIK NURSE

AB: OMG WHAT THE HELL

JO: YOU DON'T EVEN LIVE IN THE HAUS

AB: FIND SOMEWHERE ELSE TO BONE JFC

LD: why are you two shouting this time?

AB: we caught nursey fucking in the attic, AGAIN

EB: *eggplant emoji*

DN: sorry, our roomates were home?

WP: get a lock?

CC: I thought I heard some noise from up there....

WP: omg chowder, you were home?

EB: omg please tell me that you didn't just send him an eggplant emoji

EB: oooh, and do I get to ask for deets now, Nursey????

DN: best dick i've ever had

AB: NO

JO: STOP

AB: WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS

LD: shit, I do

BK: ME TOO

AB: THINK ABOUT CHOWDER'S POOR VIRGIN EARS

JO: well, not virgin, but.

AB: AND JACK

JZ: i'll just hear from bittle later

CC: ...i don't care either way

EB: So that's me, jack, lardo, and shitty for hearing deets, holster and ransom against, chowder abstains. Dex, your vote?

AB: UGH

WP: I mean.... I was there, so.

Cc: I'm confused. You're at the Haus, dex?

BK: NO FUCKING WAY, YOU GET IT BOYS

DN: so as I was saying, dex has literally the best dick I've ever had the pleasure of enjoying

WP: yeah, so I'm gay.

DN: SO fucking good.

DN: and I definitely just sent an eggplant emoji


	2. Part 1.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations that took place during chapter one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This does not chronologically follow chapter one! These fall in line with the events of chapter one  
> there is more explicit discussions of sex here, to the point where I'm pushing that teen rating (in my head, at least?), so be warned. if you don't want to read it, skip the last conversation (between bitty and nursey)

EB: long story short! The history department hates SMH because these silly frogs and tadpoles keep taking MWF classes and end up missing their fridays for away games

EB: you were their pride and joy, the famous jock who made history cool (and lbr, filled classes with thirsty bitches wanting a peek at your behind)

EB: once you graduated, there was no more reason to like us and a whole handful of hockey playing reasons not to

JZ: but I thought I told everyone how to schedule their classes to avoid that ?

JZ: and why would anyone take a class just to stare at me? And how did they even know what I was taking ?

EB: oh you sweet naive canadian cinnamon roll

EB: there was a twitter account just to track your ass around campus (LITERALLY)

EB: people tweeted locations

EB: and pictures

JZ: so how many pictures of my butt did you have saved this time last year ?

EB: none, I'll have you know

EB: now, though... :D

EB: but only the ones you know about ;)

JZ: if you behave, I'll send you another

EB: why, Jack Laurent Zimmermann. How could I turn down an offer like that?

 

*

EB: sweetheart, maybe you should calm down a little bit with them

JZ: calm down? Crisse, bittle, they want us to break Nursey's trust in us. They deserve a lot worse than a few stern words

EB: I know, and I agree with you

JZ: don't tell me you want to tell them who it is

EB: no! Lord, no, Jack. And i'm a bit sad you think i'd do that.

EB: i'm just saying... maybe you're a little close to the situation to be making the best judgements. I think some of your frustration right now isn't because of nursey and lardo and the boys, so much as...

EB: y'know, with you and me and being out (or not) in the nhl. And maybe just a little bit about your history with kent?

JZ: you're right. Of course you're right. I'll apologize to lardo

EB: and chowder?

JZ: and chowder.

EB: lord knows what that boy would do if he thought you were actually mad at him

EB: you want to talk about it, hon?

JZ: just frustrated, eh ?

EB: I know you are, sweetheart. You're doing so good and making a lot of progress, and even now people won't let you be

JZ: if feels like a lifetime ago, me and Kenny. But people still don't respect our privacy, even now, and I forget that I'm not the same guy who didn't know how to handle it.

EB: :(

EB: i'm sorry that it feels like that. And that people like to think your private life is for them to play with

JZ: I know. Me too. And you know how I feel about coming out

JZ: I hate feeling like I'm hiding you, but I know it's not the right time

EB: You're a good man, Jack Zimmermann. And I love you.

**

DN: you got some time, Shitty?

BK: you know i'm here, bruh

DN: I'm sorry

DN: you know I love you, bro. You're my family. I didn't mean to keep shit from you

DN: at first it was just hooking up, and I know you're not always down for deets. But then it wasn't just hooking up (on my end, at least, I guess), and I didn't know how to explain why you didn't already know about Jared, you know?

BK: no, I get it. And you don't ever have to tell me something if you don't want to, that's totally your right. I just didn't want you to think you couldn't, or some shit

DN: no, never. I've known that since I was a scared little 14 year old coming out to his cooler, older crush

BK: NO FUCKING WAY

BK: you never told me you have a fucking crush on me, hooooly shit

DN: bro. Shitty. Who at andover didn't

DN: you were cool and rebellious and gd, you went by the name shitty

BK: oooooooh yeah

BK: You know how to stroke an ego sooo good, mmmmmm baby

DN: I'm pretty sure you are single handedly responsible for the gay awakening of a couple dozen chads

BK: oh god, just like that, don't stop

DN: me and some of the guys would talk about you in the locker room. Your fucking gorgeous flow

BK: YES, NURSEY, GOD YES

**

JZ: I want to be very clear boys

JZ: you may not always were the A, but you are always that team's captains. You ALWAYS support them. You ALWAYS trust in your team. You NEVER doubt them or question them

AB: jack, I already know I fucked up

JZ: good. Now sit there and listen

JZ: it is up to you two to coach them when they need it, to help guide them through their struggles. On and off the ice. That does NOT mean judging them for their problems and telling them how they went wrong

JO: how do you coach without pointing out problem areas, though?

JZ: when you two were fighting last year about holster's nhl prospects, what did I do?

AB: you played middleman.

JO: you helped me decompress my anxieties and verbalize them, and you helped holster sort through his emotions so that he wans't giving me his snap reactions

JZ: and how did I do that?

AB: ….you pulled us to the side

JO: privately

JZ: that's right. I didn't tell everyone on the team what was going on. Even now, not even bittle knows you were being looked at, Holster

JZ: ransom, you know sometimes you have to be holster's filter his first reaction isn't actually how he's feeling, no matter how loud it is. And holster, you need to give ransom perspective on how other people are feeling

JZ: you need to do better for all those guys. They are depending on you to have their backs

JO: we know we do, Jack

AB: we're sorry

JZ: it's not me you have to apologize to, holster. I don't even have to tell you that.

AB: shit, I know. I don't want to text it, so next time I see him, promise

JO: same

JZ: I know i'm busy now, but not so busy that i'm not here if you two need help, eh

**

DN: holster apologized to me today

WP: good. He was a fucking dick

DN: yah, but I guess I get it

WP: really, because I fucking don't

DN: he was just trying to look out for me, he just

DN: doesn't know how to do anything quietly, y'know

DN: it's holster

WP: I honestly don't give a fuck what his intentions were, and you shouldn't either

DN: it's chill dex

WP: no it's fucking not! It's not chill! Not only does he NOT get to have any opinion about who you screw, you're a grown ass man who doesn't need protection. And HE FUCKING OUTED YOU

DN: no, it's fucking not chill, but

DN: whether he gets to have an opinion or not, he does. You all do, he's just the one who said something. You all fucking judged me because I fucked jared again, don't even tell me you didn't

DN: and we protect each other, that's what we do. That's what you did when you defended me to him.

DN: he was shitty for outing me and I won't excuse him for that, which I told him. But i'm not going to villify him, either

WP: how aren't you angry about this? I don't fucking get it. I just don't.

DN: you're angry enough for both of us.

DN: so i'm gonna chill, and you can be the one with blood pressure problems

**

EB: stop antagonizing everyone and give me DEETS!

EB: (if dex is okay with it, that is)

DN: I remember back when I thought you were a charming, proper southern boy. A boy who lived for pie, who was pure and wholesome.

EB: oh honey

DN: lol I know

DN: so, dex was texting me about hooking up with guys and how it works and shit (he told me earlier today that he was tryng to flirt??? by talking about fucking other people??? idek). So I said “i can show you *eggplant* ;)”

EB: you two are useless and perfect for each other, good lord

DN: right

DN: so, my roommate was there and his roommate was there, so we figured why not the haus

EB: oh don't even, you totally wanted to stick it to holster by fucking in his bed

DN: and on his desk (shh)

EB: omfg I cannot condone this behavior, but you know I am LIVING for that level of petty

EB: now cmon, give me the real deeeeeeeeeats

DN: okay, so like. Sex has always seemed like a race to the end before. Hookups, boyfriends, whatev

DN: like, fumbling hand job leads to unenthusiastic blow job, then sex, orgasm, bam done

DN: but holy shit, sex with dex. I could spend all day just looking at his dick. I mean honestly. I'll snap you, because it is a shame he doesn't share it with more people

DN: but he doesn't even care! He doesn't care about getting off. At all. at. All. Bitty.

EB: okay, maybe don't send me pictures of your boyfriend's junk. I don't think he would be too happy about that. Or jack

EB: but keep going

DN: when I was with a guy for the first time, I was just fucking excited another dude was willing to touch my dick. Dex is all about doing the touching himself

DN: and he's fucking insatiable. I didn't know it was possible for a 19 year old dude to have too much sex, but

DN: I don't think I can get it up for the next fucking week,not even for his magical cock

EB: that sounds A-mazing

EB: i'm so happy y'all two worked it out

EB: and that the sex is fabulous <3 

DN: me too, bits. Me too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of you were unhappy with Holster (ranging from grumpy to Very Upset), so I figured I'd give him a little redemption here. (thank you to everyone who commented so far, even the ones who were unhappy)  
> I feel a bit less secure about everyone's personalities in this part (esp Ransom, who lost 100% of his personality, for which I'm very sorry), so let me know how you're feeling about that  
> I am planning to make this is a little series (plan being the operative word here), so if you want more, be on the lookout

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so irrationally happy with this????  
> i hope y'all like it, too  
> ((the other person is tango))
> 
> ...I have been informed that I text like I wrote bitty here. That was so unintentional
> 
> Edit: feel free to leave a comment if you feel like there are tags or warnings that need to be added :)


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